Since I am called to write and speak, I am always reading and working to get better. I have several mentors one of whom has written several great books, writes political speeches, travels the country speaking and has her own radio show. I have learned so much from Deb. I also have read some fabulous books on communication and body language.
Body language is often overlooked by speakers but it is vitally important. Over a year ago I started reading everything I could get my hands on regarding body language. It has been fascinating to me and I am still in the infant stages of learning and working on my body language, down to even practicing in the mirror. Yes, you can laugh but it’s important. One of the best people I have learned from is one of the top FBI profilers in the country, Joe Navarro. I have read all of his books.
It has been fun to apply what I am learning to other people’s body language which, by the way, is a very “truthful” language…if you know what to look for! I can’t teach a lesson right here, but to me it is fascinating…it is like learning “secret code!”
Here comes the funny part….at least it is funny now.
Several weeks ago when we were in the first ER with Brewer, the minutes were ticking into hours and we had no answers as to why Brewer was not able to speak or follow commands. It was as if he was in a zombie state. The spinal tap was negative, the C-scan negative, the vitals were normal, the blood work appeared normal. It occurred to me that I needed to watch the ER doctor more closely. He was a man of almost NO words.
I walked out of our room after hour 5 of the 7 hours we were there to speak to the doctor. The first “body language” clue? He would not look me directly in the eye when he was speaking to me. (NOT GOOD. It told me he didn’t have an answer.) The second clue I noticed was that his “lips were pressed together.” (NOT GOOD…very concerned.) So I knew things were not good. But even more interesting, after being transported to Greenville and several hours with the neurologist without him saying very much at all, I could read this new doctor’s body language.
I knew from his eye contact, which was very different…it was direct eye to eye, that he had some answers or at least a plan. When he started talking about putting Brewer into a medically induced coma…his eyes flared…and started darting back and forth. I was alarmed. I knew he was gravely concerned about Brewer’s condition, even though he didn’t say it from the “flare” in his eyes.
I didn’t say anything to anyone about what I was seeing in the doctor’s eyes but I knew Brewer was not at a good place. I think that is why I sobbed the most…the doctor’s EYES were doing the “talking!” Thankfully over the next 6 days I saw their body language completely change. Praise God! Soft eyes…smiles…relaxed shoulders. I could see them walking down the hall and I would “feel” better inside. What’s funny about this to me is that I had no idea that all the studying I had been doing over the past year would be used to “read a doctor’s” face. Not at all what I expected from my studies.
Point of Post: Our body language and facial expressions are important…they communicate. What is on the inside matters! It comes out whether we want it to or not.
So with that being said, we all, me first and foremost, need to work on the inside. Why? Because it is the inside, what is in our hearts and minds that we ultimately communicate to others…even when we are trying our best to hide it. I have been amazed to learn we communicate all day everyday without saying a word!
I want to be as described in Psalm 15:2, “The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart.” That’s the inside and outside matching up.
Who wants to be like the person described in Psalm 12:2, “Everyone lies to their neighbor; they flatter with their lips but harbor deception in their hearts”? Or Psalm 5:9, “Not a word from their mouth can be trusted; their heart is filled with malice. Their throat is an open grave; with their tongues they tell lies”? Does this honor God?
“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of,” (Luke 6:45).
I encourage you to pay attention to what you are “saying” today even when your lips aren’t moving because your other body parts do speak……………:)