Ok, today’s post does not give you an EXCUSE TO MISBEHAVE!! Remember we are looking at the major, God created, differences between men and women. The benefit of exploring the differences is improved relationships. Today’s blog is not to provide a license to excuse bad behavior with such flippant comments as, “God made me this way.”
Men and women deal with stress differently!!! 2 Timothy 4:5, states, “But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship………”We need to really understand ourselves and heed God’s instruction by purposely working to develop self-control and patience. Remember, all that we can do is change ourselves. We can’t change others, but we can recognize our created differences and WORK ON OUR responses!! Stress in inevitable and learning to deal with stress can be life-changing and helpful for anyone willing to learn and apply!
“A man’s propensity to react with anger is now believed to originate from his brain connections that transport his emotional responses downward toward his body and physical responses. A woman’s brain is more inclined to process her emotional responses upward to her brain’s verbal, relational, and contemplation centers. So in response to stress, women tend to think and feel before acting. Men on the other hand, seem to be hardwired to act first and deal with their thoughts later. Feelings, if they come, are a distant third.” Drs. Ruben and Raquel Gur and their research team discovered that the portions of the brain used to control aggression and anger responses are larger in women than in men. Also note that in a crisis or “high stress” situation, men have a huge release of testosterone, vasopressin, and serotonin, which are hormones that God gave men for competing, fighting, or taking risks.
This knowledge helps us understand each other and our natural responses, but it also requires individual responsibility. In some situations, the natural response is beneficial, as in battle, or competition. Unfortunately, these natural reactions can be devastating during stressful family situations, if self control and wisdom are not integrated. We let our emotions rule when we really need to let God’s wisdom rule. We need to hold our tongues until we can process the “best” way to respond.
Proverbs 16:32, “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city” and 1 Peter 1:13,” Therefore prepare your minds for action, be self controlled, set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Christ Jesus is revealed.”
Our prayer should be, “Lord, teach me to act (with self-control and godly wisdom) rather than react (in the moment)!”