Pain of Rejection

Recently, as I have interacted with 7 different college students, both male and female, from 3 different universities, they all had one thing in common. They were all dealing with the extreme pain of REJECTION. In particular, two different scenarios–rejection by someone in authority over them and girlfriend/boyfriend relationship rejections. All were suffering immensely! Some were at the point of weeping. Some were angry. Some said they didn’t care (NOT). And some were in extreme despair. In all of the situations I was deeply troubled by their extreme, REAL PAIN.

With this being said, I just have to ask you, if you are reading this journal and you are one who prays, please pray for these students and the thousands more (that are unknown) who are in college. Many are feeling lonely and isolated from loved ones and are experiencing devastating circumstances!!! If you live in or near a college town, seek a way to get involved with them and open your home to them. Be a home away from home and a heart away from home where they can come and receive love and acceptance, a hug and a listening ear.

In the Back 9, after emptying our nest, this has been one of the most rewarding things God has put on my heart and plate to do. Through these students I have been given the name “Mama B” which is near and dear to my heart every time one of them says it. When I hear this nickname, it lets me know a deeper relationship has been formed. I can easily recognize the depth of the relationship because it moves from them calling me Mrs. Bradshaw to “Mama B”!

The other night I left one university where a student was sick and in bed, pale and in tears. This student was facing the rejection of a coach and put off the team to “get their act together”. The student was waiting on their mother to arrive from out of town. They were going to see a specialist seeking to find answers for the physical pain. The student was dealing with the pain of the coach not believing them about the pain. Now the pain was not only physical but emotional. Two nights before I was on the phone with a fellow who was heartbroken over the loss of a girlfriend. The night before that I was on the phone with students who were verbally abused and totally disrespected by an authority figure.

Needless to say…the first thing I had to do was pray, pray, pray…over my own frustration and anger. Next, I had to ask for extreme wisdom and words to give to those hurting, alienated young people!!! REJECTION is just awful and can damage an individual for a lifetime, if not appropriately addressed. I don’t feel in a brief journal post I can do it justice and I am certainly not a professional, but the more God opens my eyes to the needs of others the more I realize this is something that is experienced BIG TIME by people, but especially college-aged kids. They are very vulnerable to the attacks of the enemy (satan) in how they deal with rejection.

For the rejected, first let me just say, God doesn’t reject anyone! No matter who you are or what you have or haven’t done, HE loves you RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. He can and will bind your wounds. He can give you the COMFORT OF ALL COMFORT. You just have to turn to Him. On the Back 9, I know personally two folks who are powerful ministers today. Both turned to Jesus in college out of despair. They took a leap of faith and trusted Jesus to be the PROVIDER AND COMFORTER. Today they testify all the time of the “AWESOMENESS OF CHRIST”. HE will do it for you too, whether you are in college, high school, or 65 and retired. Turn to Jesus.

Second, even if you have to go by yourself, go to church. There are people ready and willing to comfort you. Many churches provide age-appropriate groups with leaders and volunteers who are there to minister. I love volunteers especially. They are there totally because of their HEART and a true desire to minister and be available to others.

Third, most universities offer campus ministries like FCA, College Life, Campus Crusade, RUF, Greek Impact, and many others (google it). Find one and show up.

Fourth, but not last by all means, inbox me. I will help you!!! There is only one of me, but I will help you get plugged in, guide you and put you in contact with others to support and minister to you. I know countless people with great hearts for God and a desire to minister and help the “hurting!!!”

I don’t think you can live life and not experience REJECTION in some form. I know I have. It is my desire for anyone to not take a WRONG TURN when they find themselves going DOWN THE ROAD OF REJECTION! By wrong turn I mean, WRONG THOUGHTS ABOUT YOURSELVES, WRONG ACTIONS LIKE TOO MUCH ALCOHOL. JUMPING INTO THE NEXT RELATIONSHIP TO FORGET THE PAIN OF THE LAST. WITHDRAWING AND ISOLATING YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU FEEL KICKED TO THE CURB. Satan sits waiting to pounce and whisper or SHOUT the wrong message to you, especially in college. He is deceiving and because of the hectic schedule and pressure of the demands of college, students are tired and weak and vulnerable. BE WISE. Don’t buy into the whispers or words from people who are no more wiser than you. I don’t know everything, but I have been to college and have had 3 kids in college and 2 still there……it is fertile ground for VICIOUS ATTACKS by the enemy, Satan.

Recent studies have stated eating disorders and addictions (substance, pornography, and gambling) are growing at an ALL-TIME HIGH among college-aged kids. I believe as Christians we have to GO TO BATTLE FOR THESE YOUNG PEOPLE. College is a time for young people to leave home and experience independence. But where, tell me where, is it proven that they don’t need EXTREME GUIDANCE AND LOVE???!!! Just because our society says you graduate high school and need to go to college doesn’t mean every kid who goes to college is equipped to face some of the challenges college presents. Please pray for college students and, if you are looking for an area to minister, consider working with college students, even if it is only to pray. Take action.

I desire for any college student to take to heart this passage found Romans 8:38-39, “Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” IF you are hurting turn to Jesus! And follow the steps listed above!!! God loves you and desires for you to feel the ULITIMATE ACCEPTANCE FROM HIM!

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