Double Bogeys are detestable to a golfer. It means that you get 2 shots higher than par on any given hole. It is hard to make up ground in your score when that happens. In the game of life there have been many doubles for me and, being true to my word, I would like to share one in hopes that I have learned what not to do and will have a better score in the “back 9” of life. Maybe it will help and encourage you.
Making a double is just ugly golf. No other word for it, UGLY! Many would say that it really reveals a need to work on your short game. Double bogeys have occurred for me when I found myself “not holding my tongue!” Guilty of violating the famous quote, “If you can’t say something good about someone, don’t say anything at all.” That is a real regret of mine, any way you look at it. Of course, I could justify my actions and you might say I had reasonable cause in some cases. But looking back, I wish I could be a person who other people would say, “She never said anything bad about anyone!”
Words hurt and they have certainly hurt me deeply at times. As I have taken a deep look at this, I realize for as much as I have been hurt, I have also hurt others (killed with my words). So yes, I am a murderer. I have asked forgiveness and am working hard to change, with God’s help of course.
Some real ways I am working to overcome the “doubles” is to navigate the “fairways and greens” with a few key Scriptures I would like to share with you. Matthew 12:36, “But I tell you that men will have to give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word [YIKES!!!!] they have spoken.” and James 3:6, “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the “COURSE” of his life, and is itself set on fire by hell.” There are many other Scriptures in the Bible that speak about the tongue, but this is all it takes for me to know that I would like to stuff my tongue down my throat at times!!!!!
Words can never be taken back, but the following are a few things I have realized can make a “score” better:
- Realizing silence is great. It can never be misquoted and is also a great form of communication..
- Applying Scripture as in James 1:19, “to be quick to LISTEN, SLOW to speak and SLOW to become angry.”
- Asking for forgiveness.
- Praying–asking God for “self control” which is a fruit of the Spirit. So if I am closer to God, I have more of HIS fruit.
- Confronting–Sometimes you have to CONFRONT. A righteous anger can be used in a positive way to give you courage. If you have a problem with someone or someone is being inappropriate, have the courage to go to them! I have lacked courage many times. If you don’t have a voice with them, then pray for them.
- Letting go—–Let go and Let God. Realizing that at times, God prompts me and I have a responsibility to CALL OUT BAD BEHAVIOR, but realizing that I don’t have to alert the masses about it. God usually reveals it to who needs to know over time and HE does a much better job of it than I do.
Finally, realizing my “short game” is a “heart issue” as revealed in Luke 6:45, “…for out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks!” Realizing it starts with the HEART, I began taking everyday like a golfer who works tirelessly, honing their short game. Working tirelessly on “the game of life” and plowing God to change my heart, a natural by-product will be that my words will change and I may eliminate the doubles.
I am sure you don’t remember me. Cathy (Thrift) used to teach me voice lessons and I grew up in Seneca. I was so proud of you when you clogged your way into the hearts of America as Miss SC and proud to see all that you have accomplished. You seem to have 3 amazing children and, as a Clemson Tiger, I am thrilled they golf for us. I just wish we could have gotten the ladies golf team a couple years earlier so that Collins could have too. I thank you for this message…it is one that we all need to hear and I appreciate it. I am excited to find your site and look forward to following your blog. God bless you and your family. Elise