Mistaken for a Friend

“Wounds from a friend can be trusted,” (see Proverbs 27:6). That is what scripture teaches….and it is true. A word fitly spoken are like apples of gold. Scripture also calls it “speaking the truth in love!” (see Proverbs 25:11 and Ephesians 4:15).

The very best way I have ever received wounds from a friend…is from a friend who is characterized by loving me….meaning their “actions have been so loud…I couldn’t hear what they were saying.” They have loved me and demonstrated this and it is at that point…that I know…their words can be trusted. :o)

So I pose a question to you today….Have you been wounded by a friend?

The one thing I know on the Back 9….God knows everything that happens before it happens and HE can prevent anything. So, if you have been wounded by a friend, I have some words of discernment and encouragement.

First, take a step back and take it to the feet of Jesus. Ask Him for His discernment and insight from the wound or wounds.

Second, evaluate if the wound is from a true friend. Is this friend characterized by loving you….with words? actions? deeds? What is your history with this so-called friend?

Third, put into play the scripture found in James 1:19. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

Fourth, take some time to process the words or actions…that have wounded. Taking time does some pretty special things. It allows God to work in your heart….to show you Himself….and yourself….and often you will see one of two things:

1. You may see your sin even though it hurts. You are better off knowing than not knowing. It is like walking around with your skirt caught in your underwear…or pepper in your teeth or bad breath. YOU would want to know and thank God for the true friend that loved you enough to tell you!

2. It may be that the person who inflicts the wound is wounded. The one thing I can say for sure I know, having lived half my life, is that “hurting people hurt people”. Or the “wounder” may not be the “friend” that you thought they were and God is letting you know. It has been a rude awakening, but a gift from God, when I realize that someone I thought was a friend was really NOT.

Wounds from someone are either their sin. Or our sin. Or both. Or a direct message from God to step away. When we are wounded, it is a REAL opportunity for God to work in my/your/our life. :o) Seek HIM!

It is never fun to be wounded and if we are all very honest with ourselves, we have wounded and we have been wounded! Learning to take our wounds to Jesus is the first and wisest step. He will guide you and help you discern how to clean, bandage and heal the wound. Don’t let Satan get “all up in that wound!” The enemy will lie to you.

One of his first tactics is to whisper “self denial,” the “not me” thought or words. Another tactic is to entice you to give an “angry and quick response”. He really wins then because he knows a quick, angry response gives him a “foothold and worsens” the wound and doesn’t give God a chance to be involved. Satan also loves to divide people…then he can easily conquer. He also can magnify situations by his whispers and literally we can make a “mountain out of a mole hill.” The enemy also loves to entice “passive aggressive” behavior and create jealousy which can manifest into all kinds of relational infections.

So…when I/you/we are wounded….by a friend or not a friend….take a deep breath…very deep breath….run…to the feet of Jesus…with your thoughts…with your actions. It is there where the remedy resides. He will reveal everything you need to know…….to Heal…:o)…and restore…or give you the courage to step away. You will either strengthen a real friendship or end one that wasn’t God’s best for you. Either way God will work in your heart and life….for your greater good and theirs.

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