Fatigue

Energy…is something I have always enjoyed having…no naps during the day or I don’t sleep at night. Two speeds: wide open or sound asleep. I have enjoyed this kind of energy for years.

Most recently I have said…”live full, die empty” and for sure God is honoring that wish. Since the “flood” in South Carolina, I have lacked the energy that I have always enjoyed. Working to help flood victims is ongoing. No one can plan for something like that and every day is a new day after the flood. Help is needed…and people also offer their help.

The emotions I have experienced have been from somber to sad to heartwarming over the hearts of people, some of whom I know and others I don’t know. God has personally shown Himself to me in deep and meaningful ways. Even though our family wasn’t personally affected, I took it very personally. In my heart the pain was pulsating. Only God really knows…my heart.

In crisis situations, in our family, my legs, at times, have been noodles…weak…and almost paralyzing–from Thomas having a seizure to my nephew’s terrible car accident…to my father’s stroke in my presence.

Looking back …I could see only one set of footprints and they were not mine.

Now with the flood….and the recovery that is ongoing…I see only “one set of footprints again” and they are not mine…!

I can’t seem to shake the exhaustion I have felt sense the flood. I have yet to gain back the energy I feel I once had. I think that life just keeps coming. We have to keep living and, if we are not dead, I say all the time, then God is not done…:)

I have taken a break from writing because I didn’t want to write from a place of exhaustion. I wanted to be led by God as I have been in the past. Even Elijah the prophet got tired after one of the “greatest outpourings of the Holy Spirit” in his life…when God sent the fire from heaven to consume his offering in front of the 450 prophets of Baal.

1 Kings 18:24, “I will call on the name of the Lord. The god who answers by fire—he is God.” Later, in 1 Kings 18:36-38 we find, “At that time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: ‘Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. Answer me Lord, answer me so these people will know that you, Lord are God, and t hat you are turning their hearts back again.’ Then the fire of the Lord fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench.”

Shortly after this awesome God moment, Elijah became afraid and ran for his life…right after seeing the supernatural power of the Lord from heaven. 1 Kings 19:3-5, “Elijah was afraid and ran for his life….’I have had enough, Lord,’ he said, ‘take my life, I am no better than my ancestors.’ Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep…then all at once an angel said ‘Get up and eat.'”

God told him to do it again…after he lay down he was to “get up and eat again.” You see, God wasn’t done with Elijah. Right after Elijah was honest with God about his feelings, God met his needs physically and then appeared to him in 1 Kings 19:11, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Wow! Just wow! This account of Elijah so encourages me and I hope it encourages you.

I don’t at all proclaim to be a prophet but I am a “child of the King” and so are you. God has “good works that He prepared in advance for us to do” (see Ephesians 2:10). We are His “handiwork” that He uses. Yes, God knows we get tired. He knows we need rest and food. He knows we need to replenish…and in that time, He often shows Himself to us. He recently did show Himself to me. Allow me to share in hopes that it will encourage you…….

Recently, I spent some time in recharge mode. It was a time when I literally said to God, “I am tired. I don’t know what to do next? I can’t keep up.” I was sitting by the fire reading my Bible.

Just then, a friend reached out to Bill…to reach out to me. We became friends with this person in the days when he worked with the South Carolina Junior Golf Association.

My phone messages were so backed up, not to mention my text messages and emails. I was inundated and when Bill asked me to return the message that had come to him…I wanted to cry.

I explained that the message would just have to get in line with all the others I was trying to sort through. That morning, after Bill left for the gym, the Holy Spirit prompted me to call that person back right then! So I did. I put it in front of all the others “hanging out there”.

I am asking you to read on …this is a great story and I need to give details so that you can SEE how God and God alone orchestrates our lives….down to EVERY SINGLE DETAIL!

This friend is now in corporate America and does not live in Columbia. This friend was in contact with someone who was looking for a place to donate money for flood victims. Because of golf and friendship, he suggested to the person, whom I don’t know at all, to donate to Back 9 Ministries. Keep in mind, these people are not even in Columbia and I don’t know them personally. Since Back 9 is a non-profit, I had to call my accountant to see if I could receive and distribute funds. Her answer was yes.

So, as the process continued, the donor, whose one request was to remain anonymous, had someone call me and interview me. They were also able to learn more about the ministry through the Back 9 website. A week later Back 9 received a donation that has left me speechless….a donation intended to help flood victims!

Just so you know…the money doesn’t help anyone sitting in the bank. So as this is published, I need to say all the checks have been written and the money distributed! I just praise God. A stranger, whom I have never met, entrusted Back 9 Ministries with funds for Back 9’s “steps to help”.

As I reflect on this surprising, amazing, inspiring event, I realize that even the name of the ministry, Back 9, was thought through and prayed over. I am in the back 9 of life and this ministry is the “good works” God has called me to in the latter half of life. Put that together with the fact that a donation for flood victims came from someone who is heavily invested in golf and all I can say is WOW! Just wow! I don’t need any confirmation to keep going in what God has called me to do….but this was “God showing Himself to me”…yet once again…showing me the path HE has me on…even when I get tired and overwhelmed!

If you are reading this post…you are NO different from me. God loves you just the same and wants to USE YOU…to Do Good Works.

HE wants to reveal HIMSELF to you.

What He requires from us is a YES…and THEN stepping…even when you are afraid. HE will show up and show OUT…when you step in faith…even when you don’t see what is ahead. I could NOT have predicted the last two years of my life. I marvel at what it is like to just TRUST and STEP.

So many times in the past, on the Front 9, I wanted it all laid out. On the Back 9 I realize I had to live some years first. God has shown me…

Just step…
Just trust…
Just follow….

That is what I encourage you to do today….TRUST…STEP and Follow. You may get exhausted but God will provide at those points too. He truly does bring to pass the truth of Romans 8:28 in a surrendered life.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

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