God’s Design

God’s design of male and female is both amazing and amusing. The more I study the more it appears to me that we were designed to help each other instead of misunderstand and misinterpret each other. Today’s journal is going to read more like a list of differences. The science is all there to explain it, but you are going to get it in very elementary terms. As said in earlier posts, you are welcome to research the complexity of the differences, but for the sake of time and focusing more on relationship building, the explanations will be very simple.

Men, let women be your “emotional eyes!” Women are hardwired to process emotions on both sides of the brain, while men only process on one side or the other. Women can process emotions and emotional situations constantly while men tend to be emotionally unaware. Women also have a stronger emotional memory than men. Literally, a man can deal with logic or with words and use just his left brain, while a woman uses both sides thus increasing her memory and her immediate response time.

When there is a conflict that needs to be resolved, why do men withdraw and become silent? Why do women want to talk about it, and then talk about it some more? Men often find this absurd and feel the first talk is really too much for them??? Men and women’s brains are wired totally different from each other!! Very different! I am going to skip the scientific differences and spend time discussing some relationship advice whether it be a relationship involving husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, mother/son, father/daughter, etc.

Men need more time to process a problem than women do. So women, if you want to address a problem with the opposite sex, try writing them an email or a text. You may even want to write it and let it sit for a day in your “draft” box. Writing allows you an immediate form of communication. I like to call it “narrative therapy” which gives you the freedom to “communicate”–acting on your need while respecting the male’s need for space. Pray about it. Reread it to make sure you have taken as much “emotional charge” out of your words as possible and then send it. Do not expect an immediate response. Back off and give the male time to ponder and process. You are actually honoring their God-given ability!

To the men out there, your tendency, because of how you are designed, could be to ponder and process the email or text. You will make whatever correction necessary but never communicate to the female who wrote to you. Wrong. The female who wrote the note is giving you space and respecting how you are designed and your ability for processing. Don’t forget the all important part of responding to their communication. Don’t assume they know your response and have read your mind. Females have a hardwired brain that requires them, and actually makes them more emotionally healthy, to talk and then talk some more. So if you want to honor them……………you have to communicate. Ignoring a problem or being silent for a period of time will only make the problem fester with the female.

To sum it up Psalm 139:14 says, “We are fearfully and wonderfully made.” Made differently for sure. Out of a desire to improve any relationship you deem important, try something new. Take some advice from experts and apply it to relationships you want to improve. Remember, if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten.

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