5 Love Languages

Did you know there are FIVE very important languages that anyone can speak without going to school??? They are called the “5 LOVE LANGUAGES”! Gary Chapman, in his very famous book, “The Five Love Languages” does an amazing job at detailing what the 5 languages are and how to apply the information to your life! I am going to attempt to whet your appetite to buy the book and read it. It was life changing for me many years ago.

Bill and I first heard of this book in the parenting class we led in our home many years ago. It helped us learn how to most effectively show love in our family and to others!! It has been an invaluable resource for many years in my life. I have recently just reread it and realized it is a book I need to reread on occasion because, like so many other things in my life——I need to be reminded!!!

The 5 love languages are:

1. acts of service.

2. quality time.

3. words of encouragement.

4. gift giving.

5. physical touch.

It has been fun to figure out what everyone’s Number 1 language is in our family. The book details how to recognize someone’s love language and of course your own. Most people by the end of the book can list their love languages in order from Number 1 to Number 5.

One way you can figure out your own love language is by looking at how you first show other people you love them. For instance, my Number 1 love language is “words of encouragement”. When I started looking at how I personally show others love, I found myself offering words of encouragement to them. I would not only say them, I would write them notes! Over the years, figuring out other peoples’ love language has been a little game I play personally to figure out how to love others more effectively. Now with an empty nest I have a little more time to step up my focus. With life-long relationships and new friends, it has been fun to do this. So funny and fun to figure it out!!! You can literally see when you figure out someone’s love language how it draws them closer to you. Gary Chapman says, “you are filling their tank!!!” Their “love tank!!”

He also makes the point that you can rob people of love! Meaning for example, if someone’s Number 1 love language is “words of encouragement” and you criticize them with your words, then it will cut deeper and hurt them more than someone else whose love language is NOT words of encouragement. Don’t misunderstand. There is not a human who doesn’t feel love through words of encouragement. But, if it is Number 5 on someone’s list in the way they like to receive love, then criticism and hurtful words aren’t going to affect them near as much as someone whose Number 1 love language is words of encouragement! Same with quality time. If quality time is someone’s Number 1 language and you are a friend who has gone a long time without seeing them or going to lunch, then that person is not going to feel very loved by you.

I encourage you to, not only read this book, but start with the information I have given you and try to figure out your love language and the love language of those in your immediate family! As I have reread this book recently, I have realized that some people very close to me probably don’t feel very loved!! I have been busy and have realized I need to stop and take the time to make sure the “love tanks are being filled by me!!”

I don’t believe you intentionally want people who you care about to feel unloved. But that is exactly what can be happening and you don’t even realize it. They say LOVE is the UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE! IT transcends all cultures and people groups and, when shown, can break down walls. Agree!! In fact, I strongly agree. Maybe, just maybe, there is a wall that needs to come down. It can start crumbling by applying and recognizing the “love language” of others. John 13:34-35, “A new command I give you; Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

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