Just recently I had a small luncheon at my house with some ladies. I like to call them “hen parties.” I got that term from my daddy. Years ago when my mother would have a shower for someone or her garden club would get together, he called it a “hen party!” LOL…
The lunch was orchestrated to help people learn some of the things I have learned about health and nutrition. We had a great time…and laughed a ton. It is pretty predictable when women get together, and the group isn’t too big, that you can end up talking about a ton of things. Women just have a way of relating and sharing that is unique!
One of the friends who came is a friend I don’t get to see often but one that I have known for years. To be honest, she is the kind of friend that, if I don’t see for three months or three years, we can just pick up wherever we left off. If it weren’t for friends like her over the last 4 years, I might not have a friend.
Life gets crazy when you have kids in college, aging parents, careers, you go to different churches, etc. It was so much fun to see people I don’t normally get to see. As you can imagine, we took the time to catch up. As people began to leave and the group got smaller, one friend ended up sharing how she was struggling with the pain and hurt over a “life situation” that she and her family were facing. Even though it made me very sad…I was so encouraged that she felt she could become transparent…and let her hair down and “decompress.”
It shouldn’t amaze me, but as she shared, another friend sitting there started nodding her head…listening intently…sympathetically…and eventually shared…”we went through the same thing…several years ago!” I just sat there as these two ladies started to share with each other! It is times like those…that God reassures me of my daily steps….that I am right where He wants me…and that He is using “all things to work for good for those who are called according to his purpose,” (see Romans 8:28). I call it orchestrating our steps.
I really didn’t have much to add to the conversation, since I had not walked that walk, until she turned to me and said, “I am sorry for dumping! I hope you don’t take me for one of those “toxic” people who are so negative! That is when I felt like I could add something. I quickly said, “Sharing your heart and pain is not being toxic; it is being “transparent” and there is a big difference.”
When you are wounded…one of the best things you can ever do is “drain the wound,” deciding to share with a trusted listener. Someone who can listen and offer prayer…maybe even guidance. Often though, we let our thoughts, often times whispers from Satan himself, keep us in a self-imposed prison by listening to his lies. “Keep it to yourself! No one really cares. You will look helpless, or stupid. Your problem isn’t big. Look at the starving people in the world.” Yep….. Satan loves to isolate people in their pain.
Understand…isolation…is a strong tool of the enemy. People may not have the answer but sharing our hurt is often God’s design for us to gain strength and endurance for life’s difficulties and trials. No one goes through life without trials. Satan will lie and even tell you that there are people who have no problems or lie by telling you that you can’t help someone else.
Understand, too, we don’t have to have the answers to the problem in order to allow someone to “drain their wound.” It is so very important to be “trusted” and “prayerful.” I feel people who need people are the “luckiest people in the world.” God created us for meaningful supportive relationships.
At 52 I have found that you have to learn to open up with a few people. Not necessarily the masses, but to a few…who can help carry the “load!” I love the passage found in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work……Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three stands is not quickly broken.”
If you are hurting today…ask God to help you find someone, or a few people, that you can open up to and “drain your wound!” Ask Him for wisdom and direction on the right person or persons….OR you may need to be the “wound dresser,” the one who listens, prays and offers Godly counsel!
We can all play a role…in the healing process. Don’t believe in Satan’s lie…
no one cares,
no one has time to listen,
no one can be trusted,
what will they think of me?
Go to God and then allow Him to lead you to people who will walk beside you and help you carry the load …that is the kind of “antiseptic” that can speed any wound’s healing. Or allow God to show you how to be the “antiseptic” for someone else’s wound.
“Wound-dressers are those rare people who ask how we are, and listen intently to our answer.”