Just days ago I was able to spend several hours with someone who, on the front 9 of life, was very much like God’s personal angel sent to me. As Bill and I were having our children….and among many of the things that were going on at that time in our lives…I was suffering from a problem in both of my hands that required surgery and limits that I would have to abide by for a lifetime. Thomas (age 5) had been diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and my dad had a brain tumor. Many other medical issues were happening…and this angel appeared. Her name was Courtney…not only did she become the major babysitter when we needed her, but she became like a baby sister to me.
Today, Courtney is 42. She is married to Jamie (who, by the way, grew up in my hometown). They have 3 boys–one biological, Jackson, and two they have adopted as their own after being their foster parents, Walker and Thomas (they are biological brothers). Courtney and Jamie live in Oklahoma so it was a real treat to have Courtney home for a visit and I was thankful to get to spend time with her.
As we were having lunch…we talked about life from A to Z, and it never takes long for us to talk about the deep things of God. I was surprised when our conversation turned to her deep pain…of words spoken to her long ago which brought “fresh” tears. Words that were still causing “visible” and “real” pain…pain to the point that she had to choke back the tears.
After talking with her…I do believe she has extended forgiveness in her heart to the person, but the “wounds from the words”…..are 20 years old and there is still “fresh blood”. You might ask yourself how can this be? You may even be thinking…”Get over it!” Well, what I can say from experience is this…..”words” can hurt, kill and cause wounds to stay open for a lifetime. There is help…GREAT HELP…but it requires work on the part of the “wounded”. It is not fun…I can speak intelligently about this because of my own personal experience.
There is hope……
1. God does not want us to stay stuck and bleeding….. Satan does want us stuck….in pain!
2. God has the power to enable us….to not buy the “lie from words that wound!” Satan…has some limited power but the power comes from the “power we give him”….Take note…of this…..Satan only has the power WE GIVE HIM.
3. In order to NOT GIVE in to Satan and his allowed power to continually keep us stuck and in pain…WE have to turn to God. Sometimes we have to give Him the “bleeding” every day…and if need be… say out loud…”In the name of Jesus…Satan depart…I am not buying the lie of the words said to me!” You see, through great wise counsel I now understand…to look at things in light of not flesh and blood…but the spiritual realm…even words or actions against us by humans is a “spiritual” battle… So, if we desire to truly WIN in life….our eyes have to look at things in the “spiritual realm” not in the flesh!
Ephesians 6:12, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”
4. We are all sinners in need of a Holy God. Because we all sin and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), as long as we have a breath…there is potential for me/you/ us to not only be hurt by words spoken but to turn around and hurt others too (It goes both ways). So, because of our sin nature…we need a Holy God to intervene and give us the “eyes” to see things as they really are….God is a God who wants to give healing, reconciliation, new life, forgiveness, the ability to forget, and much more…..Satan is the father of lies, darkness, immobility, destruction, death…Satan wins when we are “walking, breathing dead bodies” and he can deceive us into staying in dark places. Invisible chains….that can only be seen with spiritual eyes.
Matthew 6:15, “but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
5. There are times when you can go to the “wounder,” after much prayer and God’s direction, especially if the wounder is a Christian…yes, we Christians inflict pain just like the non-christian…the difference should be our response when approached. Even then, if the response is not what we hoped for…I look at this as a test to me/you/us…as to where our eyes are…on Man or on God. God is where our continual focus has to be….Who does God tell us we are?
6. God is all-knowing for sure and He could stop hurtful words…but in life that is the free choice He allows us all to have…to choose HIM and follow Him closely so that our “words” don’t wound often. If we do wound, we have conviction that comes from Him and our relationship with Him. Then we seek forgiveness and can apologize for our words. If “wounded,” we can seek HIM and His healing hand so that we become more IN tune to HIS LOVE and HIS POWER…either way it is a win…for us who choose to turn to God and allow HIM to show us what to do with “words” spoken by man that are harmful.
The earlier in life we learn these things, the better. You see, Courtney and I have been Christians for a long time…years….and we were and have been living in “chains” by words spoken, allowing Satan…to keep us stuck……in pain. Don’t DO IT!! Don’t take the bait….Don’t believe “harmful” words spoken. Take the words straight to God and ask Him if the words are based on truth or a lie.
Realize…a half truth is a whole lie. Sometimes there are words spoken, even if painful, that are helpful but only a HOLY God can help you filter and distinguish…..Go to the Source…the only Source that can reveal all things even things that are hidden.
Once upon a time, only a priest could ask for forgiveness for things done wrong. Leviticus 4:26, “So the priest shall make atonement for him for his sin, and he shall be forgiven.” Now, because of Christ, we can boldly approach the throne ourselves. He is the answer to freedom from the chains, visible or invisible, for both the wounded and wounder.