Tired was not the word that accurately described how I felt just the other day. I was exhausted…physically and mentally…to the point of tears. I even walked to our garage so that no one would see my tears.
Collins was home and being the other “female” in the house she sensed my emotions. <A girl thing by the way.> I looked up and there she stood…to inquire how I was doing. Many things were contributing to my fatigue–emotional and physical–but that morning Collins had played a home video for my dad who was visiting for Easter. It was a treasured video of my mother at Christmas long ago when my dad had given her a special gift.
I hadn’t seen a video of my mom since her death just short of a year ago…and all of a sudden I looked up from cooking in the kitchen to see my mom as I remembered her from days gone by. It was the “last rub” of fatigue that unraveled me. My week had been long and taxing. Of course, looking back, I see how I allowed the enemy in my “fatigue” to just attack and keep attacking on the Saturday before Easter. Finally I jumped out of the “boiling pot” I was swimming in and got to a “dry” place.
Seeking the presence of the Lord.
I felt like Simon when Jesus asked him to “‘Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.’ Simon answered, ‘Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.'” As the story unfolds in Luke 5, starting with verse 4, we find they caught so many fish that their nets started to rip. Then in verse 8, “When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, ‘Go away from me Lord, I am a sinful man.’ For he and his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken….”
I am pretty sure Simon Peter felt the way he did because he obeyed the Lord out of duty…not believing at all that they would catch any fish. Maybe in his mind thinking, “Lord, I’m gonna obey you because I know it is the right thing to do…..duh…whatever….” Or maybe wondering, “Don’t you know I have been working hard? Why on earth would you ask me to do this? You know I am tired.”
That Saturday, before Easter, I was feeling the same way. My thoughts were something along the lines of, “Lord, don’t you know I am working hard? Don’t you know all that I have on my plate? I have to cook supper tonight and get ready for Easter lunch tomorrow. I have been writing and studying Your Word and preparing to speak next week. And You want me to stop all this and go back to my bedroom and pray???? Really? Don’t you know how much I pray every day?”
The minute I walked to my room and stepped out of the “fray” to pray…out of obedience….not expecting to “catch any fish”….did my “net become full” to the point of ripping. I immediately was overcome, like Simon Peter, filled with the presence…the power…the comfort…of the Holy Spirit!
Point of the post….Satan attacks…especially when we are tired and have been working hard.
When he does attack…Jesus is not absent…HE is there too.
Sometimes we have to obey with our actions
…even though our attitudes need adjusting
…even if it is in our thoughts and no one sees but us and God.
Guess what? God is capable, through our obedience, even if we go kicking and screaming, to “fill our nets!”
Obey today, even when you are tired. When God says to “cast your net,” no matter what is going on around you, trust Him to “fill your net” and strengthen your attitude all at the same time. It is pretty special, especially when you choose to obey even though you are tired and don’t have the right mindset but do it anyway.
Understand this very important principle: “It may be God’s appointed time to fill your net!” When we are weak, many times that is when we see God the clearest. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. When God says “fish” by all means GO FISH!