Indirect and Direct Language

“Is today Sunday? Doesn’t the garbage get picked up on Monday?”……….
“Does anyone feel like pulling the trash cans out to the street?”………
“I sure do hope we don’t forget to roll the trash cans out!”………….
“Bill, will you please roll the trash to the street?”………..

Women are the “Queens” of indirect language and men are the “Kings” of direct language.

To better help you understand, women vary in their expression and will “suggest or talk around a subject” hoping that men will tune in. Most women can pick up and communicate very effectively with each other in this way, but guess what women? Men almost never do!

Men, for a lack of better words, just want you to come out and say it. And, oh, by the way, when you do, say it in as few words as possible! LOL!!!

And here is a helpful hint to men–“nothing” does not mean “nothing” to a woman; “nothing” always means “something” so take serious note. You’ve heard it before. A man will ask a woman, “What’s wrong?” The woman replies, “Nothing.” “Nothing” is a word women use because they want you to ask, investigate and probably say, “Come on, please tell me. I know it is SOMETHING!” Bingo!!!!! Men, you will be soooooo wise to pick up on this and if she still says nothing……DON’T believe her. It is probably a BIG SOMETHING that you are going to have to dig for. It is worth it to you to do so before it “smolders” and turns into a BIGGER NOTHING! LOL!!!!!!! So men, just to be very direct, when a woman says “nothing” she means “something!”

Just being aware of the differences in how we communicate can be “key” in building stronger relationships. The following are a few tips for both genders.


  1. Pick a time to talk about something that is on your mind (make an appointment). Don’t make him wonder what it is about.
  2. Let him know there is a time limit 10 minutes or 30 (be sensitive to the length).
  3. Let him know if you just want him to listen or you want his advice and help (remember men are wired to fix and problem solve).
  4. Make sure you are in a quiet place, only one audio (men do not multi-task well).
  5. If you need your husband, son, or other male in your life to do something, don’t suggest, just come out and ask them.
  6. Remember, when men are silent, usually nothing is wrong. Men like to be quiet and keep to themselves, to go into their “man cave!”


  1. Become a great listener and be comfortable in asking, “Do you want my help or do you just need me to listen?”
  2. When you need quiet time, don’t be afraid to ask. Assure the females in your life that nothing is wrong.
  3. When a women says “nothing,” take the time to investigate further! You will be doing yourself a huge favor.

Female and Males, let us all live Romans 12:10, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.”

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